“Summer is the time when one shed’s ones tensions with one’s clothing, and the right kind of day is a jeweled balm for the battered spirit. A few of those days and you might become drunk with the belief that all’s right with the world.” –Ada Louise Huxtable
Ahhh, summer! A time when moods are as bright as the noon-time sun, when Coppertone becomes the lubricant for a budding romance, and ones discretions happen to have the fluidity of a cold pitcher of beer. This is the time we eagerly wait for all year, with plans to build the memories that we will tell our grandchildren of with naughty abandon.
With so much to do and the highlights of our youth to be made, we must focus on the friends who will share in our crimes, the butterflies that will undoubtedly come from those blush-filled summer crushes, and the vertigo to be had whilst having the time of our lives. My fantastic and fellow accomplices, this is Summer 2013……
Swim in the Sea
Whether on holiday or a short drive away, there is certainly a bit of magic in spending the day at the beach with your friends. Having a refreshing go in the cool water, huddling around a boombox in the sand while listening to the inevitable summer anthem, and perusing the endless amounts of eye candy just begging you you to rub a little lotion on their shoulders sounds like a delightful way to waste away a day, no? So whether it’s the Pines or Provincetown, Venice or Coney Island, the delight you will get from dumping the sand from your shoes will serve as a reminder of your sun-baked exploits you achieved just a few hours earlier.
Wear Less Clothes
While there is much to be said about your layering techniques during the cooler months, which hide almost every inch of skin, isn’t it fantastically freeing to show off a bit? The smart cookies start tanning and working on their summer bodies a few months beforehand, and the others…..well, they blind everyone at the pool the first time with their ghostly figures, but by the second or third outing, fit right in with the aforementioned overachievers because of all of the running around and outdoor play-dates they will accomplish. The sweaty skin and sly smiles only add fuel to the flame, and pretty soon that beach hair and expensive risqué swimwear you purchased at Barney’s will have you reeling them in. And ladies, unless you live in Morocco, leave the caftans on the sales rack. We would like to see what you are working with, and not an homage to The Great Andre Leon Talley or at someone who looks like they should be one of the Golden Girls.
Dance Your Ass Off
Get off your ass, ladies and gentlemen, you can always renew your Netflix subscription later on. The weather is perfect, there is so much to do and see, and summer adventures are just waiting for you to claim them! You, like I, have waited all year to be able to have some fun for no other reason except for wanting to raise a bit of hell, so strap on those heels and douse yourself with a bit of glitter, and go toast the town! All of your friends and family will be out in droves in these few months and you certainly do not want to miss the opportunity of shaking what your mama gave you on the dancefloor or holding court with the “cool clique” while consuming your bottle service you just spent your bill money on. Whether it’s a Monday or the 4th of July, you don’t need a reason to trip the lights fantastic……Your having the summer of your life whether they like it or not!
Have an Adventure
Whether you strip to a thong for Pride, crowd surf among strangers at your favorite summer music festival, or take that great road trip among your favorite people, there are so many experiences to be had and fantasies waiting to be fulfilled. This is the time where you can inevitably cross those wishes off of your checklist…….Skinny-dip? But of course! Sailing? Ahoy, mate! Snogging on Ecstasy in a lovepile among strangers? Make sure you have plenty of water! This summer will only happen once in your life, so eat it up and then have seconds. And if you happen to embarrass yourself, even better……no one really remembers the mundane.
Fall in love with Reckless Abandon
You have spent all year calculating the demise of the “one who got away.” Endless hours of plotting their demise and thinking of all the ways you can get even. What you may not realize is that the same energies you are wholeheartedly pouring into that nonsense should be directed at something much more important….. Having an amazing summer fling!! Again, people are undeniably at their sexiest, they are horny as hell, and most are just as ready as you are to meet someone as fascinating and as charming as you! These are the most steamy months of the year, and there are ENDLESS Mr. Rights just waiting to get into trouble with! And some of them might be so fucking wonderful that they last into the autumn months afterwards!! It feels fantastic to be as giddy as a schoolgirl, to feel those butterflies in the pit of your stomach, and to be forced into a delightful blush. So forget that idiot and meet someone terrific! That asshole wasn’t any good in bed anyways……
So here is to Summer 2013! May it be filled with the fantastic fun and the ice cold cocktails we all so obviously need! It has been a long time coming, and these truly are the times of our lives! Cheers!